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nis pia. 17. keke let's find me @AnisSofia_


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qalbu
Sunday, August 31 • 5:00 PM • 0 comment{s}

"a heart is a place to store happiness, so, throw those sadness away and replace it with happiness, instead"

what a beautiful day to start. it's been a while last i updated my blog. stuck with those homework, tests and revisions. ceh hahaha but it's true though, i'm so busy these days. ye la i'll be taking spm just a several months to go. so i decided to deactivated my twitter for the sake of not-thinking-about-twitter, indeed.

updating on blog is a need for me to gain my happiness. i'm going to be honest, i'm in a massive problem. a problem that i'll never tell anyone. a problem that make me in sorrow. a problem that make my tears drowning. a problem that keep making me being a crying baby. a problem that can ruin myself if i didn't make a time to write about it.

so, hello.

i'm writing about it. with tears. teary eyes. with a smile that hiding those pains.


you know people love to call me "strong" because they'd never seen me crying. i'd never tell them about my problems. never ever. you know how far is the truth when you are in my shoes. people keep judging me, these and that. they don't know me. they keep playing with my feelings. they knew i'm strong so, they can throw anything to me, they knew i can face it.

but--

they don't know how hard i am to recover my own feelings. to throw away-

those sadness.
those anger.
those depression.
those tears.
those sorrows.
those loneliness.
those heartache.
those broken spirits.
those unaccomplished strength.
those hardship.

it's painful. too painful. you have to be in my shoes, so that you will know how it feels like. i've got no that so called best friend-that-you-can-tell-everything-about-you. i had never got once. never ever. me and myself. just me. i'm a best friend to myself…………

thank you for putting me in pain. again. surely you know that i'm strong right?

nevermind, i can face it. face it, alone. i'm trying.




 *applause*

Allah once said in the Holy Quran; "la tahzan inaallaha manna" which is define; "don't be sad, indeed, Allah is with us" 

so, right now. He's with me. He's my strength, my everything. He knows that i can face this. i can face it alone. He loves me. He wants me back to him, subhanallah.

will be growing back my spirit. my strength. my heart. my happiness, is a must. i will. no kidding. i'll never giving up. i'll keep going. i want my life to be the best, i can't lose my hope to be the best. put aside theseeeeeeee sorrows, sadness. act cool, act strong because that's define me. myself. going to push myself to start journaling after this. hehehe.





p/s: please pray for me. my spm. my happiness. my parents too. they're going to perform Hajj. missing them will put me in pains, again. but Allah plans the best.




love, nispia


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